About Me

Hi, I’m Dwan

(like ‘swan’ with a ‘D’)

…wife to a hard working, gifted man…mother of two beautiful, talented daughters…mother-in-law to 2 awesome sons-in-law…grandmother of 5 multi-national grandkids (two born in the US and three in Ethiopia)…and a registered nurse by profession.

Mostly though, I am an ardent follower of Jesus, the lover of my soul. 

For years I took great pride in the strong person I had become, not only surviving but thriving through it all. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” right?

As is true with most women who have lived more than a few years, I have my share of welcome and unwelcome experiences. 

At the top of the “best of times” would be living and serving with my husband in the diverse, beautiful but turbulent country of South Africa. How rewarding to work with a team to usher young people into the post-apartheid era through a wilderness leadership training school called L’Abri.

Without question, the “worst of times” is losing my husband within three months of being diagnosed with a brain tumor, the final blow after 10 years of constant pain and several surgeries which resulted from a botched initial back surgery. He was only 45 years old.

Throughout the trials, I relied on Jesus to strengthen me, which He did. In retrospect, however, I realize that I relied more on my own strength developed over the years. Jesus was merely a “safety net”, a backup should my own strength fail.  

Then, the inevitable day came. Widowed and no longer a wife, living in an empty nest and no longer a mom, grieving and no longer able to fulfill my role as a women’s ministry director, I was lost. 

My own strength and was spent. Life as I had once known it, could no longer sustain me, and my relationship with the Jesus, always the most important one in my life, lacked its ‘first love’. Without a sense of identity and meaningful purpose, I fell…and fell hard.

But it was in the falling that I discovered Jesus as the lover of my soul…a depth of intimate relationship that began as a seed in the tender heart of an eight year old girl, a love jealously guarded and nurtured through the years of pain, now blossoming into the all-consuming focus that defines my life. 

Everyone’s fall will look different. It can happen in any season of life. But it is not something to fear. For it is when we “fall” that we truly understand that “underneath are His everlasting arms” and discover Jesus as the lover of our soul. In that intimate relationship with Him we finally discover who and what we were created to be.

 

Ministry Roots

South Africa

Currently Living In

Colorado Springs

Delights of My Life

My Grandkids

A Passion

America’s Inspirational Beginnings

Dwan Renee’s Community
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